Grammar Gremlins

Last week I was sifting through the bargain section at Barnes & Noble and ran across a book entitled Grammar Gremlins by Don Ferguson. I decided to purchase it because, even at a glance, I realized that its format was concise, charming, and easy to read. Of course, the fact that it was less than $10 sealed the deal.

Don Ferguson's book grew out of his newspaper column by the same title. The author has collected grammatical "mischief-makers" that have crossed his path. His book discusses these errors and gives sound advice for how to avoid them in writing and speech. I read Grammar Gremlins in less than an hour, but I know that I'll use it as a quick reference when I'm perplexed by a particular gremlin.

I've listed below some of the awkward and incorrect usages that Ferguson highlighted. The ones I've chosen are the ones that drive me the battiest (or that I have the most trouble with). I hope that you enjoy them. If you want a cheap, fun grammar guide, I'd recommend Grammar Gremlins.

1. It's-Its (p. 3) "With the apostrophe, the term means it is or it has. Without the apostrophe, its is the possessive form of it, as in 'The cat ate its food.'" (This is definitely one of my pet peeves because it's a no-brainer. It's ONLY stands for it is or it has).

2. "The Johnsons live here" (p. 5) (Plural, NOT possessive, so NO apostrophe).

3. Periods and commas ALWAYS go INSIDE quotation marks (p. 7). Period. End of discussion!

4. Don't use British spellings for traveled and canceled. Use only one l. "Judgment spelled with an e inserted in the middle--judgement--falls into this category also. And theater and center should not be spelled theatre and centre unless you have a special reason for doing so. These spellings are mainly British" (p. 25).

5. "It's saving, not savings, in daylight-saving time" (p. 34).

6. "There're five cars in the show" (p. 94) There's stands for there is, not there are. "It's lazy speech to say there's when you should be using there are."

7. A lot is two words (p. 107).

8. "Prostrate and prostate have different meanings" (p. 196).

9. "The ending of the word asterisk is not pronounced rik" (p. 200). Okay, this one drives me to drink!

10. "A thought or an opinion is an idea, not an ideal. An ideal is a standard of excellence or a model to follow" (p. 210).

There are Some Rules Up with Which I will not Put

We've all heard that pesky preposition rule that sentences should never, EVER end with a preposition. Of course, we don't think about it when we're speaking, but writing is different. I've spent many moments trying to detangle a sentence so that it will sound correct without an ending preposition. Imagine my shock when I discovered that there IS no rule for ending sentences in prepositions!

Point in Case

Winston Churchill summed up the absurdity: "That is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I shall not put."

I found another fun example from one of my favorite television programs, Designing Women. As I recall (and I'm paraphrasing here), Charlene is telling the others about her encounter with a snobby woman. When Charlene asked the woman, "Where do you come from?" she answered by saying that "I come from a place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions." Charlene quickly retorted: "Where do you come from, witch (only with a "b").

Now the Truth

The Random House Dictionary says that "the often heard but misleading rule that a sentence should not end with a preposition is transferred from Latin, where it is an accurate description. But English grammar is different from Latin grammar, and the rule does not fit English."

Chicago Manual of Style agrees: "The traditional caveat of yesteryear against ending sentences with prepositions is, for most writers, an unnecessary and pedantic restriction. . . . The 'rule' prohibiting terminal prepositions was an ill-founded superstition."

Also, the confusion may have stemmed from the word's meaning: "position before."

Regardless of the origin, this is one rule with which I am happy to part (oops, I am happy to part with). Old habits die hard!

Get it Write agrees with the logic but warns that in formal writing readers will still expect you to refrain from ending a sentence with a preposition. I will no doubt still ponder those pesky ending prepositions and continue reformatting my sentences. After all, we always worry what others think.

Notice how convoluted these constructions sound:

1. That's the sorority to which she belongs.
2. He knows the state from which I hail.
3. Of what is this made?
4. It is impossible to know about what you are talking.
5. That's something into which we must look.

The Impact of Affect/Effect

Oh, the difference a letter can make! The rules are fairly straightforward, but, as we all know about the English language, it’s the exceptions to the rules that make us pull our hair out. Let’s start with the short and sweet solution:

If it’s used as a noun meaning “result,” it’s effect (The full effect of the strike will not be known for months).
If it’s used as a verb meaning “to influence,” it’s affect (Her lack of enthusiasm will not affect my decision).

Do you hear the big BUT coming? Just to keep us on our toes, affect and effect can at times take on the persona of the other. Affect becomes the noun, and effect plays the role of a verb.

Woe is I (p. 89) sums the exceptions up succinctly:

“Affect, when used as a noun (pronounced with the accent on the first syllable), is a psychological term for ‘feeling.’ Termites display a lack of affect.”

“Effect, when used as a verb, means achieve or bring about. An exterminator effected the removal of the termites.”

You may have noticed the title of this blog. It relates to a personal pet peeve of mine that many of you may share: the use of impact as a verb. I truly believed this practice had only become popular in the last few years. However, dictionary.com explains that impact has been used as a verb since 1601!! I was shocked. I assumed that it was an easy replacement if someone wasn’t sure whether to use affect or effect in a sentence. Oh well, I guess we’ll have to accept that impact as a verb will inevitably impact our writing.

See if you can choose the correct word in these sentences.

1. Will the snow (affect/effect) our plans to go skiing?
2. We must (affect/effect) a change in his eating habits.
3. Smoking while pregnant produces a harmful (affect/effect) to the unborn baby.
4. The subjects were chosen for their lack of (affect/effect).

Answers: 1) affect; 2) effect; 3) effect; 4) affect

For more practice and tips, see these Web sites:

Get It Write
Guide to Grammar and Writing
Online Writing Support

So, for whom exactly DOES the bell toll?

I don't know about you, but I always have to stop and ponder whether to use who or whom when I'm talking or writing. My answer to this perplexing problem is to banish that tricky little "m" and stick with who in every situation. Unfortunately, no one asked my opinion, so we trudge on and try to master the rules for these persnickety pronouns.

Let's see what the experts say.

The Chicago Manual of Style (5.56): "In the nominative case, who is used in two ways: (1) as the subject of a verb (Who washed the dishes today?); and (2) as a predicate nominative after a linking verb (It was who?). In the objective case, whom is used in two ways: (1) as the object of a verb (Whom did you see?); and (2) as the object of a preposition (For whom is this building named?)."

The Gregg Reference Manual (1061): "Who (or whoever) is the nominative form. Use who whenever he, she, they, I, or we could be substituted in the who clause. Whom (or whomever) is the objective form. Use whom whenever him, her, them, me or us could be substituted as the object of the verb or as the object of a preposition in the whom clause."

Patricia O'Conner, in her book Woe is I, puts it in plain terms: "Who does something (it's a subject, like he), and whom has something done to it (it's an object, like him)."

Two Web sites also offer practical tips on applying the above rules.

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/pronouns.htm#who
http://www.getitwriteonline.com/archive/062802.htm

Knowing the rules helps (and it's great for trivia games), but nothing beats practice for conquering troublesome grammar headaches. Therefore, let's try our hands at a little quiz.

1. The man (who, whom) you resemble works in the art department.
2. (Who, Whom) would you nominate for vice president?
3. Evidently, Mr. Jones was the one (who, whom) the stockholders elected.
4. Ms. Johnson was the one (who, whom) explained the new procedure.
5. (Who, Whom) was he thought to be?
6. (Who, Whom) placed the smallest order?
7. Is Mr. Bennett the person (who, whom) I should see?
8. Everyone thought that Ms. Marks, (who, whom) was retiring, was over 65.
9. Is it sometimes difficult to determine (who, whom) is ready for promotion?
10. I can't imagine (who, whom) you took me to be!

Now, check to see how many you answered correctly.
1) whom; 2) whom; 3) whom; 4) who; 5) who; 6) who; 7) whom; 8) who; 9) who; 10) whom

How did you do? Hopefully these exercises will help hone your who-whom skills (at least until they decide to take my advice and drop whom completely!