Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Between you and I, this is a sticky one.....WHOA! Did you catch my grammar gremlin? I hear this used incorrectly at least twice a day, most of the time on television programs by people who should know better. Of course, it should read "Between you and me, this is a sticky one." I think that the reason this one sticks out like a sore thumb is because the majority of grammar errors occur in writing, not in speaking. This is just the opposite. I HEAR this one more than I see it.

Why do we misuse the I here? I have a theory. I believe that we have been taught that I is more formal and should, therefore, be used in writing and speaking. We remember that admonition, but we don't remember how to use it correctly. Therefore, we just stick I in every place every chance we get. We become "I happy."

Remember the Rule

The rule is that if a pronoun (like I or me) follows a preposition (like between), then you must use the objective case of that pronoun. So, what is the objective case? The Gregg Reference Manual tells us that case is "the form of a noun or of a pronoun that indicates its relation to other words in the sentence" (p. 516 of the 8th ed.). The two principal uses for the objective case are as the object of a verb and the object of a preposition. Of course, in our instance, we're talking about the object of a preposition.

If we know that we need a pronoun in the objective case after a preposition, then we just need to know what the objective pronouns are. They are me, you, him, her, it, us, them, and whom. We are now armed with all the information we need to choose the correct pronoun for our example. Since between is a preposition, we need to say "Between you and me (not I), this is a sticky one."

Now Forget the Rule

If you find it hard to remember the big bad rule, then just forget it! This is one case where you can use good old common sense. You would never dream of saying "The final race will be between I." (This sounds better with other prepositions, but you get the point.)

Caution

A word of caution: If you have a buddy pronoun other than you, make sure to select the objective pronoun. Look at this example: "An agreement was soon reached between (she, her) and (I, me)." We now know that we should choose me instead of I, but you also need to choose her instead of she. Remember the objective case pronouns listed above! Again, you wouldn't say "An agreement was soon reached between she" or "An agreement was soon reached between I."

For more explanation and examples, visit these sites:

Bartleby
Guide to Grammar and Style